RepubliCONS: Sexual Healing Thyself

The Washington State GOP is calling upon the state legislature to open a special session to deal with sex offenders. About time! In fact, they should start with their own party which seems replete with sexual deviants. Bringing the likes of Republican Louisiana Senator David Vitter, former Florida Representative Mark Foley, Florida State Representative Bob Allen, North Carolina State Representative David Almond, and Former Utah County Commissioner David J. Gardner just to name a few to justice should keep the Washington GOP busy for years.

Proper Politicization?

During yesterday's congressional hearing into the firing of Justice department prosecutors, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales promised he "will not tolerate any improper politicization of this department." One question: Is there proper politicization of the Justice department?

Hey RepubliCONS! Can you Hear 'Em Now!

If the republiCON race for the presidential nomination could be described as a sound it would be a cacophony. A noisy shriek made by candidates who struggle to remain relevant, raise money, or fend off bad press.

Take Mitt Romney. His bleat is starting to run out of wind. In the first quarter money race, Romney came in with a staggering $25 million. However, in the preceding quarter his haul dropped to $21 million. Still seemingly impressive, however hidden in these numbers is a nearly $7 million loan Romney gave to his own campaign. Subtracting this self-love, Romney actually came in second to Guiliani and well behind the leading Democrats. Speaking of self-love, Romney appears to be caught up in a porn scandal that threatens to tar his family values image. It appears slick's opposition to porn doesn’t include smut that makes money for the corporations he used to serve.

The recent noise coming out of the Guiliani campaign wasn't good either. Most notably Rudy's ability to select quality people to run government or work for his campaign was once again called into question. First, it was his pick for Homeland Security Secretary who was hounded by allegations of infidelity, sexual harassment and mob ties. Next, Guiliani's South Carolina chair was busted for distributing cocaine. Now his southern regional chair admits to soliciting prostitutes. Makes one wonder who Rudolph would put in Departments like Health and Human Services.

Meanwhile, McCain's campaign sounds a lot like the battle to sink the Bismarck and appears to have suffered as many hits and headed for the same fate. His campaign is nearly broke, losing staff and like Guilliani, has an accused john chairing one of his states. Sorry Senator, but its time to abandon ship!

As for the bottom tier candidates, their whimpers are fading. Jim Gilmore just threw in the towel. The governor must have seen the writing on the wall, heck a google search shows him sharing headlines with a recently cancelled TV show.

It's just a matter of time until other republiCONS also hear the bell toll. Although, some candidates seem to have been made deaf to and by the incessant ringing of their dying campaigns. What Fun!

National Security Guess Work

Just the other day Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff warned the world that Al Qaeda is on the rise again and could attack the U.S. anytime. He based his prediction of an Al Qaeda summer of mayhem and terror not on crack spies, mysterious intercepts, or our "guests" at Gitmot but rather on his gut.

Yet today, Chertoff is down playing the Al Qaeda threat. I guess Michael's gut feeling was actually food poisoning?

Fast forward to this afternoon, a Bush Administration report states Al Qaeda is back and at its greatest strength since 9/11. Ever get the feeling these guys make it up as they go?

Here's a little advice for the Bush security team, get your room full of palm readers, fortune tellers, astrologists, oracles, and dowsers to reach consensus before announcing anymore terror alerts. Funny the Bush soothsayers didn't see the cluster f@#! their back and forth prognosticating would create.

Scooter Skips

President Bush commuted the sentence of Scooter Libby, a man convicted of lying to federal investigators and obstructing justice. Bush erased the 30 month jail term, calling it too severe. So, Scooter will do less time than Paris Hilton.

Bush claims the remaining sentence (a felony conviction, probation and $250,000 fine) is harsh enough. But, what he doesn't mention is Scooter's buds (read Dick Cheney) are likely to pick up the fine, while the President can erase the felony conviction at any time, most likely after the 2008 election.

Whitehouse waterboy Tony Snow said the president didn't grant a full pardon out of respect to the jury system. Give us a break! Follow up question for waterboy. Since a pardon can't be ruled out and the president "respects" the jury's decision, what justification would Bush use to grant a full pardon now or ever?

The President's commutation statement doesn't mention the deterrent value of this action. Perhaps that's because it doesn't contain any. A convicted felon was given a get out of jail free card, one doesn't have to wonder what message this sends to the rest of the administration's political hacks and the inevitable lawlessness the remaining 19 months of the Bush Presidency holds.

Don't Care About Dick

Over the past six and a half years, Vice President Dick Cheney has been busy wrecking the nation by blocking the people's right to know about government business, undermining national security, lying about ties between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda and pushing hair brained constitutional theories. However, he's also found time to meddle with Oregon stream flows, the legal status of fish and thrillcraft operation in national parks. As a result, the Bush/Cheney approval ratings are roughly 3 points below freezing. BRRRR!

What's the VEEP's response to the public's rejection of his work? He doesn't care.

Well he may soon care, for it looks like Dick will have a lot less money and free time to pursue his pet projects in the near future.

Fox News and Accuracy: Not So Much

Accurately reporting the facts seems a low priority at Fox News. Case in point, Fox has repeatedly identified republicans and democrats incorrectly. Most notably Fox identified Mark Foley as a Democrat. Mr. Foley, we all remember, is the republican lawmaker from Florida drummed out of office for inappropriate behavior with congressional pages. Later, Fox switched party affiliations for the two candidates in the 2006 Rhode Island Senate race, leaving the impression the republican was leading.

However, it appears quality control isn't high on Fox's to do list either. Just this last week, Fox ran a story about the criminal indictment of Representative William Jefferson (D-LA). Problem is the video accompanying the segment showed Representative John Conyers (D-MI), rather than Jefferson. Oops! Conyers was none to happy and demanded Fox apologize.

Fox News blamed the error on a young assistant picking up the wrong tape. So . . . it's not common practice for Fox employees to read video labels before its placed on air? Yikes!

Funny how Fox's quality control errors always seem to come at the expense of Democrats. Perhaps Democrats are justified in shunning Fox's offer to host a Presidential debate. God knows what images they would run during the broadcast.