Wednesday, October 8, 2008

John McCain: I know . . .

John McCain seemed to be challenging Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter during last night's debate. "Ooh, ooh, ooh, I know, I know" was Senator McCain's standard response to nearly every question. In fact, Senator McCain said a variation of "I know" more than 20 times to questions ranging from fixing the economy to fighting terrorism and ending our dependence on foreign oil.

Wow! John McCain isn't Horshack he's Alan Greenspan, T.Boone Pickens and Superman all rolled up into one.

Thank God he's here just in time to save the country.

Let's go the the transcripts and drink in the wisdom of our new oracle of Delphi on how he'll right our ship of state.

Question: Would you give Congress a date certain to reform Social Security and Medicare within two years after you take office? Because in a bipartisan way, everyone agrees, that's a big ticking time bomb that will eat us up maybe even more than the mortgage crisis.

MCCAIN: Social Security is not that tough. We know what the problems are, my friends, and we know what the fixes are. We've got to sit down together across the table.

Stupid democrats don't you see all we have to do is force everyone to sit at a table. Duh! Of course that will magically solve social security. What's up with Obama, why does he hate sitting so much?

Let's turn to Bin Laden. John's got a crystal clear plan for capturing America's public enemy number one.

QUESTION: Should the United States respect Pakistani sovereignty and not pursue al Qaeda terrorists who maintain bases there, or should we ignore their borders and pursue our enemies like we did in Cambodia during the Vietnam War?

McCain: I'll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I 'll get him. I know how to get him. I'll get him no matter what and I know how to do it.

Well, ahh that's a little short on the specifics. Oh, that's probably because John doesn't telegraph his punches. Or for those voters born after 1980, he doesn't IM his punches.

However, John's plan likely has something to do with his flying to the remote hills of Pakistan and capturing Bin Laden right after the oath of office.

Look out Green Berets, Navy Seals and the Delta Force it looks like the U.S. Special Forces are one of government programs John was referring to when he stated government spending would have to be scaled back. Makes sense, for once we have John in the White House, who needs them.

So in conclusion, John knows how to fix the economy, catch Bin Laden, end our dependence on foreign oil, save social security and probably make a mean souffle.

On second thought John isn't Horshack, Alan Greenspan, T. Boone Pickens, or Superman, sadly its become apparent what he knows is more like this guy.

1 comment:

David said...

If John knows where Bin Laden is and knows how to get him...what is he waiting forÉ Why doesnèt he suspend his campaign and get himÉ Is he going to get him if he is not elected presidentÉ

If he knows where Bin Laden is right now and doesnèt notify the appropriate authorities, he is withholding evidence....and under the circumstances committing a terrible crime.